Hi, I'm Sheila Trabelsi - a licensed counselor and the proud owner of Path to Growth Therapy located in Loveland, CO.
Meet Sheila
Are you the go-to person for favors, always saying ‘yes’ before you even think about it? Do you feel a pang of guilt anytime you set a boundary? If so, welcome to the People-Pleasers Club—where the dues include exhaustion, resentment, and a permanent reservation on the emotional burnout train.
Many women find themselves stuck in the cycle of people-pleasing, bending over backward to meet everyone’s expectations while leaving their own needs collecting dust in the corner. While being kind and supportive isn’t inherently bad, constantly putting others first can take a serious toll on your mental health, self-esteem, and even your ability to recognize what you want out of life. So, let’s talk about where this pattern comes from, why it’s so hard to break, and how to finally free yourself from the suffocating need for approval.
People-pleasing isn’t just something you woke up one day and decided to do for fun—it’s deeply rooted in societal conditioning, past experiences, and even survival instincts. Here’s why many women struggle with it:
Sure, saying ‘yes’ makes things easier in the moment, but long-term, it can have serious repercussions:
Before you can set boundaries, you need to know what you actually want. Ask yourself:
If you’re not used to checking in with yourself, start small—journal, reflect, or simply take a pause before agreeing to anything.
Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Here’s how to make it easier:
Remember: Every time you say no to something that drains you, you’re saying yes to yourself.
Here’s the hard truth—setting boundaries will feel really uncomfortable at first. You might feel guilt, anxiety, or even panic. That’s normal. Your brain is wired to seek approval, so breaking the cycle will feel like stepping into unknown territory. The key is to ride it out. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
Building a stronger sense of self makes it easier to stand firm in your decisions. Try:
Guilt is a common roadblock. But here’s the thing: Guilt doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. It just means you’re doing something new. Over time, as you reinforce your boundaries, the guilt will fade and be replaced with confidence.
Studies have shown that setting and maintaining boundaries significantly improves emotional well-being. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who prioritize their own needs experience lower levels of stress and higher overall life satisfaction. Additionally, practicing assertiveness and self-compassion has been linked to reduced anxiety and improved mental health. For resources on self-compassion guilded practice and exercises, check out Dr. Neff’s website on Self-Compassion.
Breaking free from people-pleasing isn’t about suddenly becoming indifferent to others—it’s about valuing yourself as much as you value them. It’s about reclaiming your time, energy, and emotional well-being.
If you’re ready to take this journey, start by setting small boundaries, challenging your guilt, and focusing on what you want. And if you need support, we’re here to help.
At Path to Growth Therapy, we specialize in helping women build confidence, set boundaries, and reclaim their authenticity.
🚀 Schedule a consultation today and take the first step toward living life on your own terms.